Heading home.

Heading home for recovery. Jade has to wear "No No's" on her arms, for the next 5 weeks to keep her fingers and toys out of her mouth.

Recovery March 3rd 2009

March 3rd 2009. Palate surgery was successful. I didn't say it was easy, because it wasn't. It was painful to even watch.I thought I had mentally prepared myself. Two hours out of surgery,and Jade's pain meds were wearing off, Jade was screaming/crying, she looked me straight into my eyes and with her arms restrained with her No No's on, and her tongue stitched to her cheek, she signed with her hands "help". That is when I lost it. It was heartbreaking.

Last McDonald Meal for a While

It's March 2nd and we are heading to Motts Children's Hospital for palate surgery.
Jade doesn't know it, but this is her last solid meal for the next 4 weeks or so.

Catching Up

I'm working on updating my blog, but wanted to share a few favorite photos of Jade first.

Chinese New Year Gathering Feb. 2009

Cheering with Big Sis. Feb. 2009

What am I Supposed to Be Doing?

So...When does the Snow Stop? Photos

And Winter Came with Hope...and Christmas Brought Joy

It was hard getting into the Christmas spirit. The PAD (post Adoption Depression) was hanging on. Statics show that 65% of all international adoptive parents suffer from some form of PAD. (Yet only 8% reported that they had been advised by their Social Workers or agencies that this syndrome even existed. Wow, that's sad.) Out of that 65%, 45% reported that their symptoms lasted for more than 6 months. Ouch! 85% of suffers reported that their depression affected their health in some way. (serious weight loss/gain followed by sleep disturbances. (I fit right in. Lossed 22 pounds and no sleep for 6 weeks! Talking about a nightmare!) 70% of suffers felt that PAD had interfered with a smooth transition and bonding with their children. I too felt that. Jade was calling me "MAMA" readily all the time. But I was having a hard time accepting it at first. Four months into coming home though, my symptoms were starting to subside. I had lots of support from family members and my adoption community friends with witch I had been in constant touch with. By the way, "Thank you to all of you for seeing me through this." You know who you are. :) It was about a week before Christmas and our tree finally went up. That was a good sign. Avoidance had been a big issue with me. Jade enjoyed her first Christmas the way it was meant to be! And life was getting brighter!

And Winter Came With Hope...and Christmas Brought Joy-Photos

Big Brother Jeremy -Photos...or as Jade would pronounce it "marry me".

Cross Country Track
Homecoming Dance

Jade & Grandma Dianne-Photos

Grandmas are made for fun!

As Summer Faded Away

As summer faded away, my PAD (post adoption depression) was coming to a head. We had been home for almost 9 weeks. What was happening to me? Did I make the biggest mistake in my life ever? But I thought this was a red thread connection...what happened to destiny? What happened to Gods will and understanding that I was to mother an orphan? What did I do to my family? I questioned myself over and over. But I kept plugging along, praying that time would heal all. As fall came and went like a fury and a blur, Jade was continuing to do well and adapting into the family. I was teaching her sign language and she was understanding English a little more, and starting to pick up a few words here and there. We were starting to communicate on some level of understanding each other. We were establishing a routine that helped tremendously. She started attending daycare a few days a week and going to Tumble Bears which she now refers to as "march..march". And, as time will have it,it continued to move on...

Summer Fades Away-Photos

Late Summer Days-Photos

And the Late Summer Days That Followed

Jade's adjustment into the family went fairly smooth for her. For us though, it was a little more than a mild adjustment. As most of my family and friends know, it was a long hard period of adjustment for us through out the fall. I suffered from "post adoption depression". Yes, look it up. It's considered the "unacknowledged hazard". Something that is not talked about. Something that you are not made aware of throughout the adoption process until it strikes. For some, the process is smooth and all glory, for others its a nightmare. I know of several other families that have had similar experiences. The circumstances may be different, but the results are all the same. Funny thing is, nobody talked about it. Like its a big secret and something to be ashamed of. Well, it just so happens that this is a big life changing event. And for us, we have made it through and for the better. Any one considering adoption, I would certainly recommend that you do your research on PAD. With all the reading and research I had done prior to "Gotcha Day", this was the one thing I had never come across. And it was never mentioned in all the blogs that I followed. So me, being the person that I am, and had gone through what I consider hell and back, I felt I needed to share this experience so others are aware of the existence of "post adoption depression".

First Days Home

I've waited way too long to post, but I'm going to back track and start at the beginning. The beginning of our journey at home. Please follow along as I try to fill you in on Jades progress in the last 6 months.
This series of 3 photos, is Jade seeing our German Shepherds for the first time. As you can see, she was in awe.